Day 3!

So last night I was just entirely dead and went to bed well before midnight. Therefore my day three post did not get done. so you get two today :)

A brief overview of yesterday:
-epically failed my EDU quiz
-worked a ridiculous shift dealing with rambunctious kids and Halloween costumes.
-Hit 35 weeks :) 5 to go!

So here's day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This question is an emotional one for me to answer. Some people may find it ridiculous that I still need to forgive myself for something that happened over six years ago. The day after my thirteenth birthday, I moved out of my parents house in TX and all the way to California. My parents were going through a divorce and I left because I could not stand the fighting! Reflecting back, I'm pretty sure that I was just angry that they fought on my birthday. I was so young and did not realize how leaving would tear my mom apart. About a week after I left my mom called me and begged me to come home. I told her no but I would come back in early July. I could tell how upset this made her but she accepted my decision. My mother always respected my decisions, that was one of the wonderful things about her. She was always the perfect balance of parent and best friend. My mother and I talked everyday I was in California. We made plans to redecorate our house, go to the beach, and other random little things that all seem irrelevant now. My mother died in a house fire on June 14. I know that if I had been there, I wouldn't have been able to stop it and may have been hurt myself. What I really have to forgive myself for is hurting my mother when I left. I honestly can't say that I ever will. My impulsive decision to leave cost me the last 2 months that I could have spent with her. Over the years, this situation has become easier for me to deal with and talk about. I pray that one day I can forgive myself for leaving.

This year, with the birth of my son rapidly approaching, missing my mother has been harder than ever. I only hope that I can be as great of a mother as she was.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself. 
Day 2: Something you love about yourself. 
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for. 
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for. 
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life. 
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do. 
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for. 
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. 
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. 
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on. 
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on. 
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) 
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter) 
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. 
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without. 
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. 
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage. 
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? 
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol. 
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? 
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. 
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life. 
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) 
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today. 
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now? 
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? 
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.